An average person lives around 27,375 days. That’s all we get if we’re lucky. “Twenty-seven thousand three hundred and seventy-five.” At first, I thought it didn’t seem like a lot of time, but how many days do we remember anyway? Most days pass unnoticed, unremarkable, and unmarked. A day passes in a blur. So many of mine did. They were lost in wandering in schools, procrastinating, and maintaining schedules. It felt like my life was becoming a series of forgotten days. Everything was saved for later. Living my life spontaneously? Later. Traveling? Later. And studying? Later. 

So, I asked myself “Why do I save everything for later?” It was because I had no confidence at all. I was very afraid and always thought of what might go wrong and what people would think about me—and being vulnerable? Being vulnerable is very scary. For most of my life, I have always been a people pleaser so I often think about the different characters I play in everyone’s story. I am a hero in some. A bad guy to others. But I realized that none of it has to do with the person I am. The lens that others view you through is colored by their upbringing beliefs, and individual experiences. Some people see your bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying. Some might think you’re weak and emotional while others might feel safe being around you.

Some people will think you’re rude and selfish and others might respect the way you stand up for yourself and again, none of it truly has anything to do with who you are. In those twenty-seven thousand days that you get if you’re lucky, you have endless dreams to follow, thousands of places to visit, meet tons of people, make a lot of memories, and most importantly chase your passion. So, if you’re not confident about taking action now, what I’d suggest is to pretend. You can pretend to be outgoing, pretend to be a leader, pretend to be disciplined, pretend to be obsessed if that’s what you’ve always wanted. Do not be worried about not knowing who you are because that’s exactly who you are. A person; trying new things, exploring, creating, evolving, and figuring it out. And this is your first time living a life, so don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Remember, there’s no guide to life; everything you do is a choice, not a rule. 

I’ve stopped trying to control the way others view me because I simply can’t. I’m fine with being misunderstood because it is a part of my nature. I let them be wrong about me because they can only understand me as deeply as they understand themselves. I have no authority over how other people view me so I might as well just go on with living my most authentic and joyful life making each. day. count. So, if you’re not happy now then change. shift gears, and take a chance because later is not guaranteed. life is not meant to be lived later so always look for a moment. A moment to create, explore, try, learn, and have fun. Try to collect a moment every day because in finding those moments, days will never blur. In those moments, you’ll surely find yourself.    

By: Anushka Subedi (Management, B2)